MEN'S SURVEY RESULTS

Thank you so much for taking part in the Men’s Survey. I’m delighted to say that the winner of the voucher was Richard Green (pictured) who is going to take his three sons to the Steamer for a slap-up brekkie, congrats Richard.

SURVEY RESULTS

The results of the survey were a mixture of fascinating, complicated and enlightening… I expected nothing less out of you chaps. In short, we have a paradox; men realise they need to make a bit more time for themselves but seem unwilling to make the effort. Men are not collapsing but we’re far from flourishing either.

Now, that is a huge generalisation but it’s the picture that has been painted out of the 109 men who completed the survey.

IN-PERSON EVENTS

Some things were clear; you want to meet up in person (80%) and most of you are stressed with your job. Most of us are desperate to spend more time with our mates and when we do that, we want the conversations to be a mix between fun and meaningful.

STAYING ACTIVE AND OCCUPIED

Exercise as a way of coping with stress is common or we use ‘escapism’ by watching Netflix or gaming. Spending time outdoors is also seen as a great way of coping with our stressful lives. That fills me with a bit of hope, as exercise is key to good mental and physical health and nature is something that has innumerable benefits. Personally, I’m not a gamer, but I know plenty of blokes who are. There is a huge community online that can also become an in-person thing too, so this makes sense. I would still encourage guys to find a mix between staying indoors gaming and getting out in nature too.

HOBBIES

A lot of us are looking to find other guys who we share hobbies with. I’m not surprised by this if I’m honest, as I play golf. I do that with a bunch of my mates. I have taken holidays with several different groups of guys just to participate in my hobby. It’s the perfect reason (not even an excuse) to bond with your fellow man over something you both have in common.

My advice is to find your crowd, the men that like your hobby too. You clearly have something in common already, and that sense of community you have with like-minded people will serve you well. It will mean you need to reach out, which can feel a little uncomfortable. But the result will be fantastic. Imagine finding a whole new community of guys who like doing the same thing as you. This could be simply supporting your local football team and going to the matches. Or you may be a steam engine enthusiast. If you volunteer to restore a local steam engine, you’ll be spending time with other enthusiasts and have something in common. It’s not a complicated to understand why it works, but sometimes, taking that first step can be intimidating. I FULLY encourage you to do just that and to find your crowd, you’ll love it.

CONVERSATIONS

The other thing that stood out for me is the want to have better, deeper one-to-one conversations with your mates. This is something I encourage you to start. Find that lull in the conversation where you bring up something that makes you feel a little vulnerable. It’s highly likely they’ll understand and probably share your feelings too. Being the one who takes the first step and starts that conversation can feel difficult, but I promise you it often leads to deeper conversations which will create deeper connections with the guys you care about the most.

You don’t have to do this with all your mates. I share the vulnerable stuff with maybe one or two of my closest friends, you don’t have to broadcast it to the world.

SUMMARY

Us Men aren’t collapsing, but we’re far from flourishing either. We crave connection with our fellow man, more time to do the fun stuff we love, and safe places to open up (when needed), ideally in person or around activities that we share a passion for.

We have to do something about this. If we just sit around and expect things to change, that is a recipe for disaster – NOTHING CHANGES WITHOUT ACTION. Take that action, be bold and let me know how you get on.

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. It’s TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE.